Things I have learned

...from being a welder.

1. Before dropping your hood. Ask yourself one question. "How's my breathe?"
2. Working in a weld shop is like dating an angry latina, it WILL cut you.
3. Much like the force electricity will "flow through you", but you don't want it to.
4. Chicks may dig scars, but wives don't like burn holes in your clothing.
5. I have parts I have built that are defending our country while orbiting in space, but when people find out I am a welder they only have one question. "Can you fix my pool fence?"
6. If motivated, I can take my pants off in 2.3 seconds. (see line 4. for clarification)
7. I know what a sunburn on my eye ball feels like.
8. Most jokes that start off "You might be a redneck if..." could easily start "You might be a welder if...".
9. Choosing to be a welder in Arizona in the summer is like deciding you are sexually attracted to cactus.
10. A fire is only deemed news worthy if it was "Started by a welders torch".
11. Never ask "Is this hot?" while grabbing something. Either way you look like an idiot.
12. Line 6 includes the shoes.