If you wanted to know

Checking in

2011-08-28T18:23:00.000-07:00

I promise a boat load of pictures in a few weeks, but for now here is my post.

The Obama campaign opens it's first 2012 office.

If this picture was an LDS calling it would be the "Webelos Leader"

This makes too much sense to make a joke out of it.

What little girl doesn't need an assortment of pastel colored razor blades? I can think of a few nieces who are going to have a great Christmas this year.

Please people! Do it for the books!

Church, Family, Country, and Ron Swanson.

New Music Monday

2011-08-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

A day late. Who notices?

Okay it's clear I'm not really creating trends with my song choices. However, I hope I find something slightly different than you are use to.

We have all seen the commercial associated with this song. Here is the video shot at the same time.

New Music Monday

2011-08-08T15:42:00.001-07:00

Pomplamoose

Summer is almost gone.

2011-08-06T10:38:00.000-07:00

A little catch up on the things we have done over the summer

In an exercise in humility and parental love we went to Wet n Wild Water park. Even with a coupon it was $135.00 to get all 4 of us in. (Local tip. Get a summer rate at one of Phoenix's resorts for an over night stay. The pools are great and you can play in them from the moment you check in to Late after you check out the next day. All for around the admission price to WW.)

In July Julie and the boys spent a week in Seattle with Grandparent and cousins.

They went to The Ye olde' Curiosity Shop.

Real Mummies!!!

I think they are more grossed out because the mummy is a topless women than anything else.

John likes taking pictures, so when they went to a nursery he entertained himself by placing his lego guys in a scale forest.

The Zoo is always a must when we are in town.

New Music Monday

2011-07-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

I know it's Friday but it makes for a nice alliteration.

Wees famous

2011-07-12T15:49:00.000-07:00

Last year a tractor that my father and I restored we featured in a nationally distributed calender and TV show. He loves talking about everything about the tractor accept who made it look so pretty that it was chosen to be on Classic tractor Calender/TV.

My love affair

2011-06-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

For you Julie.

Moar phunny pleez!

2011-06-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

I want to turn this into a t-shirt and wear it to Walmart.

I wouldn't be. Those ice-cream sandwiches are delicious.

I.....have......a......new........hero.

Dr. Evil voice-"And I shall call her Mini-Farley"

Oh, sorry. Can't think of a good come back? Well then you better come back with a sandwich!

Proof that some women are just for looking at.

Clothing.....preserved. Street cred......not so much.

Palette cleanser.

Lastly, if you like what you saw here go ahead and give me an internet fist bump (don't forget to blow it up). Or leave me a comment.

Went shooting on Monday

2011-06-03T13:35:00.000-07:00

I went shooting on Monday with my brother in law and a few friends, But this post isn't about that. It's about the weird things you find in the desert.

The spot I like to shoot at is about 3-4 miles from the end of a paved road, can be truely described as the middle of nowhere, and at the base of a 500' hill. As we are shooting this guy comes sprinting into the center of our group. He has blood on his clothes from scrapes on his arms. He looks very confused and proclaims loudly "I don't know any of you!"

It took a few seconds to allow this moment to sink in. After several well placed questions we have determined.

He is drunk.
Had been on the hill since 2am.
Has no idea where the rest of his friends are.
Fluent in the use of the F-word.

Luckily we had noticed his camp sight on the way in about 1.5 miles away. I told him to hop in my truck and I would take him back. About half way we spot a guy. Picture Clark Grizwald walking in the desert after he wreck the family truckster. He has his shirt off, but it is still put to good use. He has it wrapped around his head like a terrorist just out of the shower. After he promised not to puke in my truck and he profressed an oath to owe me a castle for giving him a ride. Yeah, he now owes me a castle. I should have had him write that down, but any way back on the trail.

I left them at their camp and told them I would be back in a couple hours to check on them.

Here they are when we stopped back at 9:00 am.

There was also a guy and girl in the tent doing, what I assume, Bible study.

Great weekend

2011-06-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

Our Friend Michelle, from Seattle, came to visit us over the weekend. We have been looking forward to it for quite a while. I even shampooed the carpets. We didn't do a whole lot accept eat, talk, and talk about eating. On Saturday we did go visit the Challenger Space Museum. I didn't bring my camera so I only have cell phone pics.

While taking her out for breakfast we gave a great presentation as to why she needs to relocate to Phoenix. We would love to have her live close by.

Will had another of his temper tantrums while at the museum. I was going the write a joke comparing Will's explosive tantrum to the Challenger shuttle, Like What is the difference between Will Condie and the Space shuttle, Will can explode more than once. But I don't need to stoop that low to get a laugh. I have standards and sometimes Julie reminds my what they are and when to use them.

Of course the boys favorite display was the Lego space toys. Is there a gene or fragment of DNA that activates on a boys 7th birthday that just makes them Lego crazy? Entire fights have been started (and finished) over who has ownership rights, whether implied or lent/leased, of a single lego brick.

Last day of school

2011-05-31T16:17:00.000-07:00

William with his teacher Ms. Salazar.

John and his teacher Mrs. Ellis.

Fathers and Sons

2011-05-27T13:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is a couple weeks late. On the 13-14th we had our wards Fathers and Sons camp out.

I was asked to do dinner for everyone in my dutch oven. I was asked to have it ready by 7:00pm. I always tend to go over on my time so I made sure to get to camp early and get started. I was very pleased with myself when dinner was ready at 6:30. The down side, There was only 4 families there at 6:30. The person with the bowls and spoons didn't show up until 8:30. I suppose I was a little miffed that I had worked (3-4 hours) so hard to feed everybody and nobody seemed to care or do their part. Most everyone showed up after dark.

On the way in we saw a heard of elk.

Johnny loves camping.

Mandatory grumpy Will pic.

Seven yearolds playing chess while camping, you know that old chestnut.

More musuc

2011-05-26T18:05:00.000-07:00

Julie brought home this CD a few weeks ago. I have been wearing it out. I tried to sing along on a few songs and it made me feel like I had never known how to sing before. Dang, this woman is good.

Nothing says Smooth Criminal like dualing cellos.

2011-05-25T12:48:00.000-07:00

I got released this Sunday

2011-05-03T11:53:00.000-07:00

This post is more for my LDS friends. However, I know a lot of people serve in various ways their own churches. You may be able to relate.

For the last 3 years I have served as the Ward Clerk. It has required long Sundays and tested me more than I even considered when I accepted the calling. In fact I was the last remaining calling from when the Ward was created in 2008. In a way I saw it coming. I thought about trying something else. Having a calling less stressful, and one that let me get out from the "administrative" side of things and get back to the ministering.

This last Sunday I was released and for some reason it has been much harder to deal with than I thought it would. I spent all Sacrament Meeting thinking of ways I should have done my job better, better prepare others to do it, wishing I had appreciated my time more with the inspirational men I served with. I was distraught. I had no idea that I had become so attached to it. I had even already been given a new calling. Another adventure to look forward to, but still I feel remorseful at not being the Ward Clerk anymore. Which makes me wonder if I was this happy serving the Lord or because of the title I had while doing it? Am I as needed as I thought I was? Are people still going to talk to me now that they don't have to?

I guess this could all be an amount of fear of change and realizing the loss of blessings seen from serving in a way I had never done before. Also, I have yet to see the types of blessing to come from my new calling. I think I am narrowing down to my real question. Outwardly most people celebrate being released from callings, if only in jest.While others pat them on the back and congratulate them on being "set free". Am I the only one who feels a sense of loss after a calling is over?

Things I have learned

2011-04-26T08:21:00.000-07:00

...from being a welder.

Before dropping your hood. Ask yourself one question. "How's my breathe?"
Working in a weld shop is like dating an angry latina, it WILL cut you.
Much like the force electricity will "flow through you", but you don't want it to.
Chicks may dig scars, but wives don't like burn holes in your clothing.
I have parts I have built that are defending our country while orbiting in space, but when people find out I am a welder they only have one question. "Can you fix my pool fence?"
If motivated, I can take my pants off in 2.3 seconds. (see line 4. for clarification)
I know what a sunburn on my eye ball feels like.
Most jokes that start off "You might be a redneck if..." could easily start "You might be a welder if...".
Choosing to be a welder in Arizona in the summer is like deciding you are sexually attracted to cactus.
A fire is only deemed news worthy if it was "Started by a welders torch".
Never ask "Is this hot?" while grabbing something. Either way you look like an idiot.
Line 6 includes the shoes.

Harry Potter 7 part 1

2011-04-15T13:23:00.000-07:00

In honor of the video release of HP7.1 today.

Worlds best Baseball fan interview

2011-04-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

This is what is referred to as "TV Gold".

Opening Day: The Cubs biggest fan from WBEZ on Vimeo.

"Are you single?"

President Barack Obama's First Ad of 2012

2011-04-05T07:31:00.000-07:00

I like it. Finally truth in political ads.

Disneyland

2011-03-21T07:51:00.000-07:00

We pulled a double surprise for spring break. We told the boys that we were going to a friends cabin for a few days. Then when we got in the car we told them that our friends canceled on us so we couldn't go. So instead we were going to Disneyland. Then when we got there Julies parents aka Grandma and Grandpa showed up as we went out to dinner. See double surprises.

I can't tell if this is John's "Leading Man" pose or his "I'm constipated" pose.

One of my favorite rides as a kid was Peter Pan.

Who doesn't love a $6.00 single scoop of ice cream?

Will with his "Bunny ears" gag never gets old. I wonder where he got that from?

Mystery solved.

I'm hesitant to post this picture. It looks like Will is participating in a Hitler youth "Drive across Poland".

I was so fond of this picture. I liked how my boys started climbing on the giant Lego, and in my ability to capture such a unique perspective. I liked it until I realized that every time we walked past the Lego store for the next 3 days I saw dozens of kids having their picture taken my equally impressed parents.

Tractors and freaks

2011-03-15T15:22:00.000-07:00

We had a busy weekend. A tractor show with grandpa and some free tickets to the Renaissance Festival.

Taliban alert! This chick is showing a lot of ankle.

This is about as much as I like to be photographed these days. John likes to take pictures. He took more at the tractor show than I did.

Will was loving the drum performance.....John, not so much.

This was by far our favorite part of the Ren Fest.

Feb'11 AZ club show

2011-02-18T13:00:00.000-08:00

Every so often I realize that I have become too domesticated. For instance having to use a tissue to blow my nose or not requiring a form of sausage be served at every meal. Last weekend was again one of our tractor shows. It lets me and the boys get dusty and play with the antiques, but enough about the club members, we also get to drive the tractors.

John on Great Grandpa Paul's Tractor and Will on Great uncle Roy's tractor.

John on a vintage 1950 child's pedal tractor. It is worth more than maybe half of the real tractors at the show. They(6) were willed to the club for the express purpose to be used a free child's rides.

Another club owned tractor. Yes it is a Porche.

The boys left mid morning to go to a birthday party, so I got to pull Miss February. It was a full pull I might add.

As I got home the boys were back from the party, and the after party was underway at our house. Get this Stan and Will both like to play chess together. That is when you know they aren't babies anymore.

Thiokol in snow.mp4

2011-02-06T14:27:00.000-08:00

Music soothes the soul

2011-02-03T11:58:00.000-08:00

I don't have much as far as interesting family stuff. We should have some good stuff in the coming weeks.

I tend to fall in love with a particular album/CD/MP3 and wear it out. I found this Jason Mraz Live in Chicago CD a couple years ago. I have tried to replace it with others but I still end up listening to this over and over. There is just something about it that speaks to me. Jason is incredibly talented. Please, when you have a little time listen a couple tracks here on these youtube clips.

Julie's Birthday and bouncing

2011-01-17T14:13:00.000-08:00

We stayed over New Years so Julie could spend her birthday with her family. Jana and Chad had just moved into their new home (we are talking days here) and hosted a birthday party.

Thank you guys. You went above and beyond.

Next we went to a place called Sky High. Think of a giant room with trampolines as floors and foam pits to jump into. Yes, there is an emergency room right next door.

Bouncing and slapping your self in the face. It tingles all the senses.

Break time.

I don't know about you but my eyes go straight to the toes.

Okay Karen. I can now tell your children I once saw you get high. Sky high in fact.

Scott never fails to impress. An inverted twisting flip? And his hat stays on? Backwards? Outstanding!

Seattlite Friends

2011-01-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

Even though we only see our friends here maybe once or twice a year they are great friends. Maybe it is because we see them so little that our visits feel like special occasions or a reunion of sorts. Either way it is one of the things I look forward to the most when we go to Seattle. We managed to find a few evenings to hangout or have dinner together.

Hangin out playin games.

Will (and John) even have a built in friend in the Emerald City. Carter and they get along like old friends too.

Crappy Phone pics.

Here we are at Ye Olde Spaghetti Factory. This is Michelle, Julie, and Nicole. They have been best friends since grade school. I wish I had friends like that.

Christmas and dinner at Beth's

2011-01-07T09:32:00.000-08:00

Christmas morning. The Merrells...er now the Condie's, Smith's, and Hyde's have a tradition of lining up youngest to oldest before seeing what Santa brought.

The big guy found us at just over 1500 miles away from home. His secret weapon? UPS, FedEx, and online package tracking.

Dinner at Beth's(not on Christmas)

We are fans of the Travel Channel's show Man vs Food. A few seasons ago they did an episode in Seattle. One of the places he visited was Beth's. It is famous for it's giant portions. They have a 12 egg omelet on the menu that weighs 4 pounds and is served on a pizza pan.

A tradition at Beth's is you are given a plain sheet of paper and some crayons. Some of the drawings make it to the wall and some can be found as the covers on the menus.

Great Grandma Ray seemed to find her menu quite entertaining. My m-i-l also got a special kick out of it.

When they brought out the food all our jaws dropped and the camera hit the ground. Not one picture of the gravy covered feast. In all frankness there was another opportunity for a pic approximately 4-6 hours later. Tho the portions were just as big, they were slightly less photogenic.

Seattle, first installment.

2011-01-05T05:22:00.000-08:00

Dec. 24. Christmas Eve Party

Julie doing her Mr. Peanut impression, or is it Groucho Marx?

Stolen glances from Scott. I see you looking ;).

Party time. We cleared the chairs out of the way and the ho down begins.

Drink something warm and snuggle up with those you care about. I love the look on Diane's face, but I think it has more to do with Lauren taking a header right in front of us. I don't feel bad for not reacting to it. That is her dad sitting next to me. He doesn't look concerned does he?

Lisa and Trace.

More to come soon.

Santa Time

2010-12-20T09:13:00.000-08:00

All three smiles seem to say "This means so much to the other two, Just be polite and get through this." At least we avoided last years "Santa fear freeze up".

Check out last years pick bellow.

Just kidding. Check it out here.

Bringing the merry back to Christmas

2010-12-10T09:20:00.000-08:00

Last week we got out the tree and started decorating. It really got us into the Christmas spirit.

It seems like just yesterday that I was planning my Halloween costume. I think it turned out pretty good.

I got out my Christmas stocking. I can't wait to see what Santa is going to fill it with this year.

I think the best Christmas decorations are the home made ones.

I even got started shopping early for Julies present.

Hint hint. Here is something on my wish list.

And it is not just our family who has the Christmas spirit. Everyone is so helpful. Our local hardware store is very customer service orientated.
Merry Christmas everyone!

Happy Day it's over!

2010-11-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

Saturday we had a Birthday party for John and Will. They had been invited to several parties this year and wanted to have one that they could invite their friends to. Up till now it has always been family parties. I prefer less formal gatherings.

What do we do? Our back yard is not up to hosting a party. Chuck y Cheese is NOT AN OPTION! And most other places require reservations way farther in advance than I care to let my mind wander.

We took the easy way out. Harkins theaters has a kids birthday party package that gets you movie tickets, a kids snack pack, thank you cards, and a gift for the birthday boy/girl. So we went to see Mega mind with .....15 six and seven year olds.

After the movie we sat out in the grass and had turkey sandwiches, apple slices, and cupcakes.

Then presents!

Have you ever seen Shark Week on the Discovery channel? What is the difference between our birthday party and a feeding frenzy? If you hit a shark on the nose he will back off. (No children were harmed during our party. They are tuff little boogers.)

If you are curious how many you could take out click here.

Double trouble and Ray LaMontagne

2010-10-30T08:10:00.000-07:00

On Monday is the boys 7th birthday. I thought you should all see who really deserves the credit for who has kept them alive this long.

Travel log is over. Time for my Favorite pictures of the week.

2010-10-19T09:56:00.000-07:00

You can click on any picture to see it full size.

Please vote for your favorite picture in the comments section. I don't care if you know me or not. I want some feedback.

Busy week

2010-10-18T10:05:00.001-07:00

It has been a busy couple of weeks here for us. On Oct. 8 the Julie's Parents came to visit. Here is Grandpa John teaching Lil' John how to play chess after church. They stayed with us and managed to help us destroy our living room (another post for later) before they left on Wednesday morning.

After dropping grammy and grampy off at the airport we headed north. We had some friends who invited us to come and stay at there ranch with them for a few days. This is the view from the back porch.

Just like when we go camping the boys turned feral. The wild rumpus has started.

For half a day we went down the road and visited Bryce Canyon. We saw deer, antelope, and lots of French and German people. A word to our European guests. Shirts have sleeves, and if your shorts go past your calves they might as well make it all the way to your shoes.

What more could you want from a picture?

Here is Grandpa Rex's new toy. We had to test it out. Stretch it's legs so to speak. It should work perfectly for Alaska next year.

Number 1 on the boys list was to ride a horse. John loved it so much that when we told him the horses names he didn't care. He was going to rename them after we bought them anyways.

It has been almost 40 years since my dad had saddled a horse, but that muscle memory kicked in and it was like a day had not passed by.

Mandatory grumpy Will on vacation picture.

John was so upset when his favorite shoes took a mud bath.

Unflattering? Yes, but this is what fun looks like.

This is the House and barn.

Here we go!

2010-10-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

Florence 2011 here we come! Oh yeah, and Alaska 2011 here we come too!

Thiokol Imp Snowcat.

Here I am

2010-09-20T15:10:00.000-07:00

I am sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. I have to admit that when I started this blog a couple years ago that I had aspirations of sharing something meaningful. I wanted to put finger to keyboard and reveal the beauty and hilarity of everyday life. I wanted to be a cross between Nie Nie and Christian Slatar from "Pump it up". It has turned out that I really don't have much to say. That is okay because it appears not may people are reading this anyways, so it all works out.

Not much has been going on at Casa de la Condie. We spent most of the last weekend cleaning out our closet. I read a couple weeks ago that in 1995 scientists in Brazil found a man who was the last of his tribe in the densest part of the rain forest. We are taking stone age civilization here and now. When they tried to make contact with him it ended with an arrow in a scientists face. The government then decided to change its policies of assimilating found tribes into modern culture ,but to protect them from incursion. They ordered a 30 mile radius "off limits zone" so this man can live his life in peace. We found him in our closet. We picked up a box of old clothes and there he was field dressing a cabara. He seemed nice enough. We exchanged some tobacco and salt pork. I tried to take his picture but he said something about ancestor spirits and dashed back into the blackness. So now I am prohibited by the Brazilian government from "further cleaning or developing for public use" my closet.

I'm stupid like a Fox

2010-08-25T15:50:00.000-07:00

About 3 months ago we got a chip in the windshiled of Julies car. Within just a week or so it turned into a crack several inches long. As the dutiful husband that I am I lined up a mobile glass company to replace it. I really did my home work. It was one of those places that will either pay your deductible of give you $100 to replace your window. Seeing as we had full window coverage on our insurance we took the money.

We haven't even had the oil changed in Julies car since then when about 2 weeks ago Julie comes home and says there is a new crack in the windshield. Within about 10 days the crack has migrated about 25 inches. I got all fired up and called the shop that replaced my glass and demanded they give me a new windshield under warranty. They were nice and stopped by Julies work to check it out. They then pointed out a very small impact from a rock right were the crack started. I was told they couldn't replace it under warranty. They could however replace it again and give me another check for $100.00

Ooh, Okay. I feel a little dirty. I think I'll go fill my bath tub full of dollar bills and try to clean my self up a bit.

No one is looking so who cares

2010-08-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

Did you get the memo about the new cover letter on the TPS reports? I can resend you the memo.
Some one is about to loose a hand in 3.....2......1..
This reminds me. My Birthday is coming up.
Owl reenacts delousing scene from Shawshank Redemption.

Is it okay to have chains and whips in the bedroom if you are wearing a ring masters hat?

Welcome to socialized health care.

I have always suspected, but now I know.

This isn't for a family picture. They are in time out. The mom is in the corner panting like animal from the Muppet Show.

I woke up the other morning to Julie rubbing body glitter on me and a coupon for "1 free hair cut" from Tony and Guy taped to my forehead.

This is funny cause Lance lost one of his nuts to nut cancer.

Palette cleanser.

The yoga has really been paying off.

School Daze

2010-08-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

As most of you know John and Will started school last year. In fact they are going to the same school I went to from K-8. Walking those halls and stepping into my old class rooms has brought back a lot of memories. I get to relive some of them just by watching the looks on my sons faces. Some experiences are different. Last year I dropped them off to start Kindergarten at almost the exact same spot my mother stood and and said good bye to me exactly 30 years before. The difference is John and Will were much braver than me. The salt from my tears is still in that soil.

Today they started 1st grade. John in fact, is in the class room that I had 3rd grade in. This room has history for me. History that has stayed only in the farthest corners of me. I should say not just a class room, but also a tree. A tree we planted, as a class, 28 years ago. I wondered if the tree was still there? I wondered if anyone would know why it was there? I wonder now why I care so much? Is it because I am feeling sentimental or is it that an 8 year old doesn't know how to process these kind of emotions and they have been waiting for me to deal with them? Triggered by walking my son to school.

You see that class room was where I first learned that somebody I knew had died. She was a class mate I had known since preschool. I had gone to her birthday party. The only boy in fact, I thought it meant something. We had all come back from spring break but her desk was still empty. It took almost another week before our teacher told us. She was traveling with her family and was in a car accident and was killed instantly. As a memorial we had a fund raser and had a plaque made to honor her memory and planted a tree in the courtyard just out side of our classroom. The tree is still there. The plaque is still there and apparently so is a small part of my youth.

Seattle part II

2010-07-27T13:11:00.001-07:00

Here is a few more. I don't want to disappoint my reader.

Seattle Part 1. Well, maybe. We'll see how adventurous I feel.

2010-07-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

On July 10 Julie's littlest sister got married to her boyfriend Trace Lewis. Lisa Lewis, That has a nice ring to it. It was an unusually hot day in Seattle. It was in the middle 90's and they haven't invented air conditioning in western Washington yet. Even tho it was a warm day it was still a wonderful day to get married.

Trace and Lisa Lewis.

I wasn't their photog, but they did indulge me a little.

Lisa with all her flower girls. I want everyone to know that I steamed all the flower girl dresses, and half the bridesmaids dress.

Yes, My gorgeous wife.

This is another of Julies sisters with her disgustingly beautiful family. If you replace the baby in Scotts hand with a glass of scotch, he would look like he just walked off the set of Mad Men.

Karen, I meant "disgustingly" in a purely complimentary manner...........slightly envious with a hint of self degradation, but mostly complimentary.

Elly was helping diagnose the severity of Wills scraped knee.

On Monday we went to the Seattle Zoo. We saw Tigers, Gorillas, Elephants, and Orangutans. And I took pictures of all of them. However, with trips like this I always end up enjoying the pictures of the people I went with more than the pictures of what we went to see. I did take pictures of our family, just not enough.

I like this one below. Does it even matter what they are looking at?

This is exhausting

2010-07-06T07:23:00.000-07:00

We got an elliptical about 2 weeks ago. Here are the guys showing us how to use it. The first time I got on it I over did it and couldn't walk for 3 days.

Signs

2010-06-14T10:44:00.000-07:00

This weekend I watched the movie "Signs" by M. Night Shyamalan. Watch this clip to reintroduce yourself.

At the end I always drifting into thinking about what I would do if in the same situation. If it was me and my family, what would I do? In the movie they have decided to stay in the house and try to ride out the invasion. Sure they board up the house. That is a good start, but they didn't even turn off the lights. Hello! That is a big "We are open for business, Come and get us" sign. When I slip into what would I do. I think about massing an active defense. Where would I place guns? How much ammo would I need? Where do I begin my defense? (at the front door, or in the yard) Where do I plan to finish my defense? (Attic, Basement, Garage so to facilitate a possible escape)

You see, I was knee deep in contemplation when the answer became blatantly clear. They hired the wrong Culkin brother for the movie. Instead of an asthmatic egg head, they could have had the older brother from Home Alone. The greatest home defense planner in the movie industry. Picture aliens getting smashed in the face w/ paint cans swinging on ropes, electrically heated door knobs, propane torches hanging in the air, falling hot irons, and lest we not forget the classic Jacks and marbles on the floor. By the end of the movie they would have had 2 or 3 aliens comically running down the street missing patches of hair (or scales), glued to each other, and begging for the police to pick them up.

Memorial Day

2010-06-07T15:17:00.000-07:00

I am playing a little catch up. Here are a few pics from our trip to see Great Grandma Condie. She turned 96 this past April. Her body is becoming more frail, but her mind is a steel trap. She writes and recites poetry without a stutter. All while never a pencil and paper meet.

As a joke she wanted an out house built just like she had when she was growing up. She told us about when the first world War ended the people of Preston Idaho took all of their old outhouses to the center of town and created a sort of a skyline. They then set them on fire and called it "The burning of the sh*ty of Berlin".

Grandma has a family of foxes living in her barn yard. 50 years ago they would have been shot on site to protect the chickens, but now they bring a little life back to the place.

Any Karen Carpenter music will do.

Is it original? No, but everything was working at the right time.

Cows!

About a 1/4 mile from Grandma's house (the next door neighbor) is Napoleon Dynamite's house. I think I could throw a football over that mountain.

I think I have a picture of everyone of the girl cousins pummeling my boys. I tell them just to get used to it.

See!

My grandma. I had to say a crude phrase to get the guys to smile. It worked on grandma too.

As promised

2010-06-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

Better late than never. Last Thursday I finally had my first post surgery follow up. I learned that the x rays didn't show all the damage, so when they opened me up there was a bit of a surprise. The knuckle area at the base of my had was broken into a few pieces on the 3rd and 4th metacarpals. That is why the doc had use the larger plates w/ the 2 place bases. I am now the permanent home to 12 screws and 2 plates. The 2 fish hooks you see in finger 1 come out in 2 more weeks.

Now this is just embarassing

2010-05-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

Okay this appears to be a story line I can't get away from. Last Tuesday I had surgery to set the 2nd thru 4th metacarpal bones in my left hand. There was quite a bit of hope that a "closed procedure" could be used and they wouldn't have to open me up. Not my luck. My hand in now held together by a combination of titanium screws and plates. After the surgery we told the boys that they had to put wires and metal in my hand. They now think I have a robotic hand like Luke Skywalker. Which would have been cool beacuse the whole universe would tremble under the power of the dark side.

I hope to have post op x rays soon.

How about a hand

2010-05-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a cool story to go a long with this like I was rescuing a baby panda cub from an apartment fire, but I don't. This is what happens when you unload your 700lb quad from the back of your truck the "wrong" way.

I broke the first three metacarpals on my left hand. The ER doc told me for braking my first bone, I picked some good ones. I did break my big toe once but that really doesn't count. They gave me a band aid and told me to come back in six weeks. I didn't go back.

Today I am going in to see an orthopedic surgeon to see if they have to pin this hamburger patty back together again. Wish me luck or pray for me, whatever your faith or conscience leads you to.

I have learned a few things from all of this.

Always make sure the winch cable is securely attached.
Vicodin and Comedy Central is better than chocolate and peanut butter.
It is more manly to tell the nurse that you "passed out" rather than "I fainted"
A blow to the back of your head can affect your short term memory.
Always make sure the winch cable is securely attached.

"I'll take care of this!"

2010-04-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning Julie made breakfast. Actually for the last week Julie has been working on Sunday morning breakfast. She got a recipe for a dish called "French Toast Casserole". For the last week she has been collecting the ingredients she needed and spent saturday night preparing everything. All she had to do was through it in the oven and enjoy a nice relaxing gourmet Sunday morning before church. ( Well that was the plan anyway) With a triumphant look on her face she pulled the dish from the oven. It smelled fantastic and looked even better.

She called the boys to assemble for breakfast and layed out plates on the table. Will was the first on the scene. With a crinkled nose he declared "I'm not eating that!" John following Wills lead and declared that it was "Yucky". In a calm and rational voice (Maybe) it was explained to them that this was breakfast and if they wanted to eat today they would eat this.

John was crying, Will was frantic, Julie was loosing her "rope". Panic had entered into our peaceful Sunday morning. While Julie was explaining to John that he could remove the nuts from the top if he didn't like them Will declared loudly as he came out of the pantry, "I'll take care of this!" He quickly made his way to the stove that the pan was resting on and raised a bottle of Windex and was about squirt it on to the food. Fortunately Julie caught him and did not allow him to sabotage our food. I can not decribe how I felt. I have never been more infuriated yet doubled over laughing at the same time. I guess Will was prepared to dive on the preverbial culinary hand grenade and take one for the whole family. That or he thought it would taste better with Windex.

By the time I left for prechurch meetings the boys had there faces buried in their plates and were declaring their mommies proficiency at Nom, Nom making. All was well again and we finally had our peace, but I doubt it lasted long.

Johnny's Blog

2010-04-03T11:27:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday Johnny asked if he could take a few pictures with Julies new pocket camera. He loves taking pictures. She said "Sure, go ahead." He went outside for about a half an hour and came back with over 200 pictures on the sd card. My photo professor at ASU would have been proud.

Here are just a few that I liked;

Johns version of 'Blue Steel'.

I guess a tract home looks like a mansion when you are 4 feet tall.

The neighborhood.

I can understand taking a lot of pictures here. That is one pretty truck. That isn't glare from the sun. My truck just naturally radiates light.

At six years old he has already perfected the Facebook profile picture.

The End.

Hawaii Slide show

2010-03-24T11:58:00.000-07:00

Aloha

2010-03-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

Sooo, What did you do for spring break?.... Us? Oh, we just went to freakn' HAWAII!! We did it on the cheap. Julie's parents snuck us in in there luggage and we only ate dryer lint and star light the entire week.

Okay. Dryer lint and cheese burgers.

Super rare family photo. I was just combining teaching John how to swim and weld at the same time.

This is any effective pose for hiding my 2nd, third, and fourth chins. The fifth was already tucked into my shirt.

Both John and Will did amazing learning how to swim this week. Now they know enough to really be dangerous around water. They used to be scared of the water now they think they have it all figured out. We have to really watch them now.

Some of our favorite pictures.

I took this on the flight home. I loved the rainbow around the shadow of our plane on the clouds.

Work Stuff

2010-03-04T15:10:00.000-08:00

Here is a project we worked on for several years.

Another Student-O-the month

2010-02-26T16:19:00.000-08:00

You may remember last November Will was student of the month in his class. If you don't remember I will wait while you go back and read about it.........................You're back? Good! Well while we were so proud of will, we were equally concerned for John because he was devastated. Everything they got to that point they shared. This was one thing they could not share.

Last week we got a note that John was selected to be the student of the month for his class.

Here is John at the beginning of the awards ceremony. He was so nervous. I don't know if it was because we were there, or he was concerned that Will would win another award with out him.

Then they called his name!!!!

Then just as John was taking his medal and certificate from the principal this lady stood up in front of me.
Good job John!!!
This is the look of uncontainable pride we had been looking for.

BTW what do you think of the pictures? I just got a new camera.

My Kids are awesome. Do you want one?

2010-02-04T08:05:00.000-08:00

I have been battling a pretty bad cold for the last 2 weeks, So when the opportunity came for me to leave work early yesterday and pick up the boys from school I took it. All I wanted to do was fall on the couch and take a nap. The boys wanted to watch TV so they went up stair to watch in our bedroom while I sprawled on the couch. Just as I was dozing off I hear Will yell from up stairs "Dad, The toilet is clogged!". " I'll fix it later." was my reply. A nice dry boring documentary was playing quietly on the History Channel about WWII British submariners. Perfect Nap inducing white noise.

Suddenly I awake to John shaking me about an hour later saying "The water is still running. What should we do?" That is a phrase that will definitely pull you from a sound snooze.

Have you ever seen a water ring on the out side of a bathtub? I have. I now know that my master bath can hold an inch and a half of water. But only for a little while.

Of me, by me, for me.

2010-01-13T06:33:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, one thing my parents did for us was to scan all of our old family photos and give us a copy. I figure since most all of my posts center around me why not continue this narcissistic train.

Here is a family picture at my grandmothers house in Idaho. We a whole series of these with every bodies families. We got the Hill's, The Carlson's, And even the whole family together. What I can't figure out is why when it was the Condie's turn my aunt and uncle didn't feel the need to get out of the back ground. I am the baby.

Here is my second birthday party. I remember everything about that day. I wore my favorite red shirt. I had chocolate cake. The party was held during the day. Memories, you have to cherish them.

Me and Rags.

Brian on the left, Me on the right. I think this was the fishing trip I found a bra in grandmas tackle box. Ask me later how this is vital to angler success.

This was the last time I was photographed sans shirt(far right) until Jana got me at the water park last Nov. Jana, I hope your camera died. I do remember everybody in this picture. Left to right, Derron Walters, John Bloomstrand, Sean Miller, Erin Bloomstrand, Brian, Me.

Curious traditions and some child endangerment.

2009-12-26T19:52:00.000-08:00

It just so happens that us Condies have tradition of celebrating Christmas. We gather together as a family and we tend to eat goodies with an abundance of fat or sugar. At some point we exchange gifts ( ones nobody wants or needs but we all usually spend more than we intended). I can't explain why we do the things we do. It could be our Scottish heritage, or maybe it's because my father worked at a nuclear powerplant during our formative years.

We held the family party at our house again this year. I guess it just works out that way. I mean, December is the month we clean the house anyway so why not invite people over?

Grandpa and Grandma brought a couple bottles of 25 year old brandy for the white elephant exchange. We had an employee years ago that knew we were LDS but every year would give them a fruit basket and a bottle of brandy.

All of our best sides.

We want to wish all of our family and friends a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I was planning to, but Rex and Dee took the brandy back. Who does that? Bring a preasant for exchange and then steal it back?

Look Santas spreading his cheer

2009-12-14T06:29:00.000-08:00

Get this. I have a irreverent streak. Julie has learned to deal with this. If you can't, turn back now. I think some of the reasons I like these pictures is because I admire the people that could do this to there own homes and not worry what there neighbors would think, when in all actuality most of us would think it's hilarious.

Okay, It could be worse. He could be aiming down the chimney. The smell would be horrendous.

Is he just being funny? I don't think so. I think this home owner has found a creative way to share the Christmas spirit while staying Earth conscious. btw, I'm pretty sure that is Al Gores' house on the left.

Let's give this house it's due. I mean they still have me beat for number of strands of lights up.

A festive decoration that could compliment any trailer. Single wide or double.

He pulled a "Ralphie"

2009-12-08T17:38:00.000-08:00

Last Friday we went to get Santa pictures. The boys were very exited to tell Santa what they wanted. (Flow charts, and spread sheets were involved) We waited patiently until it was our turn to meet the big man himself. Will walked right up and climbed onto Santas lap while John griped onto Julies pant leg like she was hanging out of a helicopter. He froze. He wanted no part of this. We at least got him to sit on Santas lap, but he was not happy about it. Julie and all of the helpers tried to get John to smile for the camera. I told them to not fight it and just take a real Holiday picture we might remember. The only thing that would have made this picture better is if John had fresh "fear drizzle" in his pants.

Later that day John realized that he blew his chance to tell Santa what he wanted. He freaked out and wanted to go back. It reminded me of Ralphie from a "Christmas Story". Only after promising that we would write a letter to the North Pole did he start to calm down.

Seattleites

2009-11-23T17:32:00.000-08:00

So here we are in Seattle w/ nothing to do in this boring city. You know what they say, "When life gives you lemons, throw them at stupid people." Well we didn't have lemons so we went out today. Julie went shopping and out to lunch with her mom and sisters. Grandpa John and I took the guys to the Boeing Museum of Flight.

First we had to pay our respects to great grandpa Dale by stopping for lunch at his favorite haunt and get British burgers and root beer floats.

Super action team GO!

Cockpit of a SR-71 Blackbird.

Then it was off to meet Julie and spend the afternoon at Pike Place Market. We had been telling the boys about a fish market that throws the fish. Then we saw it on TV a few weeks ago.
10# King salmon in flight. Impressive yes, but when you see it in person it's like "What's the point."

Me and my Johnny. He is always good for a smile.

We went to a Joke/Magic shop. Will got a can of mixed nuts that is really a snake that pops out when you open it. I can't remember what John got.
Lastly a self pic in front of the famous sign.

Frank and Stein

2009-11-01T19:22:00.000-08:00

Okay, I admit it. I am being that annoying parent that tells you every time their kid says something pithy or wipes his nose an interesting way. To be frank that's all I got right now. I take a lot of pride in my boys. This is always a very busy time of year for us. In 48 hours we have Halloween and the guys B-day. Now we add a student of the month award. (I am so glad they didn't give out bumper stickers)

Will was student of the month for his class. This from a kid that just 4 months ago was proclaiming that he would never go to school and would spend his life waiting for me to come home from work to make him grilled cheese sandwiches.
He also got a "One free kids meal at the sizzler" coupon. Umm.......We will be sure to jump right on that.

Who would win in a fight? A roided out super human soldier of the future or an elite ninja/ Mortal Combat fighter?

Answer; It's a tie. The Mortal Combat fighters extreme stare is cancelled out by the soldier of the future's marsh mellow gun.

Happy Birthday boys. I love you.

Busy weekend

2009-10-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

This was a busy weekend. On Friday was John and Will's Elementary school fall carnival. I remember it was a big deal when I went to school there. It is all they have been talking about for a month. They even seem to have forgotten they have a birthday coming up.

Will loves his mommy.

On Saturday was the Buckeye Heritage Days Event. My dad was the show chairman again this year. He has been working for the last 6 months working with the city and organizing club members. Most all day Friday I helped him move tractors and set up the grounds.

Here is Dad taking a few minutes from his duties to pull his crawler. By the way, look for it as 'Miss February' in the 2010 Classic Tractor Calender on news stands soon where fine calendars are sold.

Julie brought the guys out for a couple hours. They always like to play on the tractors.

A rare photo of me.

Kindergarten Mug Shots

2009-10-22T21:06:00.000-07:00

Well, here is a rare post from Julie....really, it's a rare moment to sit down with no one needing something. Mike is at a meeting at church and the kids are passed out in bed after a torturous session of homework (for kindergarten, that means practicing writing letters the school way and not the 6 year-old cool way).

What I really have to share is school pictures. I'm glad we bought the cd too because John's envelope came home folded up in his folder. We are trying to repair it under a stack of heavy books.

He spits on me.

2009-10-13T06:43:00.000-07:00

In the last several weeks Will has lost his 4 front teeth. It's been fun messing with him. We make him say things like "Sister Sally sat on a thistle." or "Sing songs on Saturday." He sounds like Amy Poehler from the "mighty B".

Watching him eat is also fun. I think we will have corn on the cob for dinner tonight. Either that or apples. Maybe I'll have some video to post tomorrow.

Baby sisters can be heroes too.

2009-09-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my sister Katie was asked to speak at an event promoting blood donations by the United Blood services. Even after reading her words today I tear up thinking of all she has been through. I am so proud of my little sister.

Here is what she said;

My name is Katie Clarke and I am a Cancer survivor who was saved by blood donors.

Wedding day Feb. 7 2004

My fairy tale began five years ago. When prince charming, Ryan, swept me off of my feet, took my hand in marriage and carried me across the threshold we were well on our way to our happily ever after. But the next chapter in our story was scary. Not long after our beautiful wedding the monster of cancer attacked us.

Day 1 at Banner Thunderbird. 3 weeks after her wedding.

We basically spent our honeymoon in the oncology ward of Banner Thunderbird. The nurses called me the cancer bride because my family decorated our honeymoon suite with wedding pictures to cheer me up. We spent the first month in the oncology ward of the hospital and the first year of our marriage in and out of out patient care and Dr’s offices. I can talk for hours about the physical and emotional things that Ryan and I went through, but lucky for you I only have a few minutes to share my story. ☺

I was diagnosed with Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia. No one knows where this monster came from but it caused my bone marrow to over produce white blood cells and not enough of the other blood cells.

My symptoms came on quickly. I was bruising easily from the lack of platelets in my blood. I had red all dots over my legs from my blood vessels bursting in my skin. I experienced a shortness of breath because I did not have enough red blood cells to transport oxygen to my body. I was hallucinating from the white blood cells interfering with the neural connections in my brain.

I thought that I had a weird strain of the flu. It was not until I literally felt like I was dying that I decided to call my doctor to get a check up and some antibiotics. My primary care physician ordered me to go directly to a hematology/ oncology office for more tests. He suspected something was seriously wrong. His suspicions were right.

When I went to my Oncologist, Dr. Joseph Volk’s office for the first time and he tested my blood. He told me that the average blood sample has about a quarter of a million platelets; I had about 8. He also told me that I had more white blood cells than his machine was calibrated to read. He ordered me to go to the emergency room immediately; if I did not get fresh blood in my system before the end of the day I would probably die.

The Dr. called in orders for me to get a blood transfusion STAT while I was driving to the hospital. But there was a shortage in the blood supplies that day and I had to wait 6 agonizing hours before my first transfusion.

And not only did I just have APML I also had an additional condition called Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation or DIC which is also called Death is Coming. My blood was clotting in my veins. The nurses told my husband to start planning my funeral. I had asked to be buried in my wedding dress. I paid a lot of money for that dress and I wanted to get my money’s worth. ☺

Fresh blood and the love, prayers and support of my husband and family were the only things that kept me alive for the first weeks until the chemo could restore my bone marrow to produce the proper blood chemistry again. I had 24 transfusions of red cells and platelets in 21 days.

That is when I became my alter ego of the vampirate. I wore a bandana to cover my baldhead. I wore an eye patch after an adverse reaction to one of my meds caused me to get double vision, my low red blood cell count made me deathly pale and I craved blood. One part vampire- one part pirate.

Transfused blood was the only thing that gave me relief from my malaise and pain. The transfusions instantly caused relief from my symptoms. They gave me energy; color in my face and life again. The transfusions helped my body to heal and gave me my life back. It took a year of chemo, radiation, tests, surgeries and daily doctor visits but I am finally in remission. An APML specialist at UC Davis who studied my case said that she had never seen an APML patient so close to death as I was and be as healthy as I am today.

Katie at one of her fundraisers

My husband is my prince charming. He never left my side and made sure that I had everything that I needed to get well. He was my motivation to recover and we grew so close together. I would not trade our first year of marriage for anything. It has made us who we are today.

Even though my husband is my prince charming, blood donors are my knights in shining armor.

I am now the site coordinator for the university where I work. I recruit new knights from the staff, faculty and students.

You never know who’s life you will save every time you donate. It took 24 people to save mine. I don’t know who they were so I try to thank every donor I meet; as far as I am concerned every donor saved my life.

The moral of this story is that we all have our own challenges in life mine was cancer. But the most important thing that we can consider is how we deal with our challenges and remembering to help others along the way.

And to all of the donors here, from my husband, my family, and me thank you for giving me my happily ever after back.

I got nothing to share, so it's funny time again

2009-09-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

Is calling it a "Tard" really any more insulting than calling it a "Tart"?

Maybe he just needed to feel a little sexy that day.

Those extra ketchup packets no longer seems so important, does it?

And I mean it people. Not one thing! If I find one sign hanging from this pipe, heads are going to roll. R-O-L-L!! In fact, write this down and hang it from the pipe.

And his ego grew three sizes that day.

And now for your palate cleanser.

Teach him old school

2009-09-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

I try to make this Blog about my family and stay away from the political stuff, but those of you that know me know I have strong opinions about our rights. I saw this video and had to put it up. It is just too perfect. While the left would like to portray my hobbies as vices, I say they are my constitutional rights.

Obama. "Don't Tread on ME!!!"

Weekend trip

2009-08-24T17:01:00.000-07:00

Last week was my t.ugh,cough...ish..ixth birthday. My parents gave us their timeshare in Sedona for the weekend. I snuck Julie out of work early on friday and we made our way north.

We were going down the stairs on Saturday morning and it struck me how beautiful Julie was and I made her stop for a picture.

We had the second floor room.

This is the view from our balcony.

Here is my patented "self pic". Notice the superb composition, light shadow, second chin. We are on top of the Mogollon rim (about 6500 ft asl) looking down towards Sedona.

These are a few of the shops close to the hotel.

Julie by the fountain at the front lobby of the hotel. We left Sunday morning, and got home just in time to pick up the guys, put on their church clothes, miss Bishopric meeting ,but make Sacrament meeting.

After this weekend it has become even more clear to me that I am a lucky man. I have parents that love me and sacrifice on my behalf. ( Maybe because their retirement rests right on my shoulders). I have a wife that I adore and is the most selfless person I know. And I have two wonderful boys that I missed, ....mostly.

Be brave my little ones.

2009-08-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

The first day of school has come. After a lot of begging, screaming, and desperate bargaining John and Will started Kindergarten yesterday. The last month or so has not been pretty. After a couple of serious tantrums in Walmart while buying school supplies, the boys finally sat us down and said "Mom, Dad, you have to get over this and let us go to school.".

Post Script.

The day after we got back from vacation Will lost his first tooth. As you can see the replacement is already coming in.......in his right nostril.

The Coast is clear

2009-07-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

For the ninth year in a row we went to the Oregon coast to play in the sand. All of Julie's family and a lot of friends make it a great trip.
This has become a standard picture of Johnny and me.

Mommy and Will on a hill overlooking the beach.

Of all the family pictures taken this last week, I like this one the most. Not because it's good, but because it's awesomely bad. We are just a couple arm shelf's, and a tree lean from making it into AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com .

Like every year we were lucky enough to stumble onto some old pirate treasure of stick on tattoos, candy, and plastic swords. This time the poparazzi found us. That TMZ has photogs everywhere.

Grandpa John showing Charlie how to play the "Girl repellent". Actually we had a lot of fun sitting around the camp fire listening to grandpa John play the accordion and uncle John play the guitar.

Grandma Diane has a real talent for reading to the kids.

Johnny had fun riding this skateboard. I know this because he ran over his own fingers 3 times before he asked for a band aid.

I have been going through a "textures" kick lately. Here are a few pics from the week.

Food and Music

2009-07-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

My sister Sue and her husband, Charlie had us and some friends from church over for a "4th Feast". Charlie made the most awesome baby back ribs.

The kids decided to treat us to a live concert and fashion show. Let me introduce you to the band. On lead guitar Is Rock-n-Billy, On first maraca is palsy Johnny, And leading the band is "Smasher Asher" on his Doo ta do (Vacuum cleaner tube).

My mom gave the kids a pack of stickers and told them to make a "Star Spangled Grandpa"

Big boys and their toys

2009-06-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

I have decided to sell my enclosed trailer and buy a new toyhauler. I put a down payment on this bad boy this weekend.

It's not everything that I wanted, but you know some times you have to make sacrifices. You know, with the economy and all.

Actually, I didn't buy it. I am waiting for one that has a basement.

John, Anya, Asher, Will.

Julie got us tickets to the Big Boys and their Toys show. She wanted me to have an entire weekend to celebrate Fathers day. The show left a little to be desired, and Julie learned a new term, "Booth Babe". Because of this and a couple of pouting and demanding boys we went home early. Only a 5 year old, and a Hilton could walk around a convention center filled with $100,000 sandrails screaming "Buy me something!!!".

Primary playday

2009-06-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

Our children are our life, especially when we don't have anything better to do. This last Saturday was the "Drench Daddy" primary play day. I didn't exactly come repaired for the drench daddy part. I mean who really wants to see me in a bathing suit? Jo and Bill had a great time. They have really been into making new friends lately. We went to Target the other day and Will had to introduce himself to everybody under 11 years old.

Rob C. tried to take me on in a squirt gun fight. Being the brilliant tactician I am, I attained the dominant high ground and cover to negate his superior firepower. He kicked my b##t. He had stand off range.

I love our Bishop.

Will along with his friends Stan and Jack head up the slide.

He preferred to slide down the ladder. I guess he is just not a boy of convention. There was a lot more kids there than in these pictures. I am just limiting posting other peoples kids.

Straight Shooters

2009-06-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

This post is is done under protest from Julie. She does n't want any one to know how truly redneck we are. But today is a special day. Johnny went shooting with me for the first time.
Grandpa got a new glock so the three of us went out this morning.

*The gun was unloaded for these pictures.

Johnny (with a lot of my support) shot my 38 super, and my AR.
After shooting we walked around and picked up as much brass as we could find. I think the real reason jo came with us is he knows my dad and I go out for breakfast when we are done.

3:00 am. Mommy, Daddy, I threw up.

2009-05-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

No pictures with this post. That's a good thing. You will thank me later. Our long holiday weekend was kicked off right with a wake up call from Johnny telling us he had thrown up all over his bed and had diarrhea in his pants. Two sets of beds sheet later we make it threw the night. He was sick all day Saturday and Sunday.

Monday he was acting like he was feeling better so we went to a movie to salvage a little holiday fun. Just as we get home johnny gets "sick" again. I didn't know popcorn could look like that. I am going to start a new diet. It will be the rave of Miami and southern Europe. You will simply line up all your favorite foods then have a child throw them up in your living room. You wont look at them the same anymore.

FLASH "Honey, would you like a HoHo? Yes, please. Put it in a blender with a cup of pool acid and half a hot dog."

Tuesday and he is still sick. He has not been able to keep much down for the past 4 days so on Wednesday I take him to the doctor. I tell them his story and expect them to rush him off to some piece of fancy equipment with radioactive signage and a large red blinking light labeled "Swine Flu" on the side. Nope. The answer to our upper GI projectile issues is dairy, or lack of it at least. For the net few days John can not have any thing dairy. There is a 7 day illness going around and we have to "reboot" his stomach to accept food again. You would think that for my $20.00 copay and what ever outrageous amount they bill my insurance for I could get a face mask and be able to hold my kid down while the give him a shot. No, I get a grocery list.

Fathers and sons...and fathers.

2009-05-18T06:42:00.000-07:00

This last weekend was our wards Fathers and sons camp out. My dad came along and was a great help. You see, Like an idiot I raised my hand to volunteer to make dinner for everybody. Dad helped a lot and together we pulled off another successful batch of chicken and dumplings.

Here is Bishop Munroe in between paintball battles. I like paintball. It teaches leadership, teamwork, and one of my pet peeves, firearms safety.

Well, two out of three ain't bad.

Kellin is taking the time to let my Johnny squeeze off a few rounds. Johnny was one of the big boys for just a little while.

Okay, most of my family has seen this before. When it came time to serve everybody started taking pictures of it. I thought maybe a holy image had manifest itself in a dumpling, but no. Just chicken and dumplings.

Happy and dirty.

A call home to mommy to say goodnight. They said they did not miss mommy. They wanted to stay four more days.

Little boy right of passage. Burn sticks in the fire then try to poke your friends eye out with it.

I vaguely remember camping before folding camp chairs were invented. It involved sitting on rocks and stumps. I did not like that.

Finally Johnny's favorite part of camping. Riding wheelers. We went out a few times and took some really cool trails. We saw a few deer and a pile of elk bones that the guys had to take some back to show mommy. Mommy was ....thrilled.

Hollywood Dreams

2009-04-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

Julie has connections.

Not only did we get into to world premiere of X-men, Origins Wolverine, but we were in the main theater 3 rows behind the cast. It was odd to watch a movie and look down and see the people on the screen just a few feet away. We were not allowed to bring a camera so I am forced to "borrow" pictures from the net.

Being that we were in the big theater we actually walked the red carpet. The walk was about 100 yards long, and was lined with people waiting for celebrities. They were taking our pictures and everything. I guess people just know class and style when they see it.

My only disappointment was Ryan didn't bring Scarlet Johansen.

After The movie we walked out behind Alice Cooper. I overheard him tell his wife "Boy that movie was loud!" If Alice Cooper thinks it's loud, I think you should win something.

More stupid junk Mike thinks is funny

2009-04-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

Okay I'm bored and stressed, so here is another tension breaker. You may not think this is that funny and I'm a dork for posting this stuff, but we all need to laugh. Even if it is "at me" instead of "with me".

I can see the slogan now (Safeway; no animals harmed here.........that was done at a processing plat completely out of our control.)

Uhmm,....Yes, yes we did. Now finish your apple sauce. You got some on your shirt.

Tinker Bell, the master of disguises.

In the index that part is labeled (ward clerk).

First Laser Cats, now Hover Cats! When will the military stop experimenting on animals?

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.

Catch Up

2009-03-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

Tis the season to be out side. The last two weekends have been spent enjoying the Arizona weather. First John( I now call him Jo) and I went to a tractor show with grandpa and I. He really likes the tractors, but I think the real reason he came is because I told him he could wear his cowboy hat.

There is a small chance he we getting a little board being there by himself.

Then a miracle happened. COUSINS!!!

This last weekend was the ginormous Luke Days air show. It would have been really fun if it wasn't for the near record high of 90 deg. and the 8-9 miles of walking.

Osprey. Half helicopter, half airplane.
Buddies by a P-51 d Mustang.

Did I say it was warm? In the 4 hours we were there we went thru 4 Snapples , 8 bottle of water,....

.....and 4 ice creams. Filthy, sunburned, and happy.

Butterfly Safari

2009-03-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

Can we actually grow gardens in the desert? Yep, and right now is the beginning of butterfly season. Saturday, Grandma Dee & Grandpa Rex organized a grandkids safari to the Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix.

The gardens are also showing a Dale Chihully exhibit, so we went looking for some shiny things.

by Jules

We call him Dad.....or Grandpa.

2009-03-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

It happens every once in a while. We will be watching TV or a movie and one of us will say "He looks just like dad right there!". Maybe it's just a facial expression or a mannerism, but sometimes it can be uncanny. Here is a tribute to you Grandpa John.

The showman. even if it is for only 1 camera.

Okay, so they party a little differently.

I hope you still talk to me after this.

As Will likes to say. "We love you Codfish".

San Diego

2009-02-17T08:47:00.001-08:00

I had a cousin that was nice enough to get married on a 3-day weekend in San Diego, so we made a vacation out of it. Here we are at Sea World. That Shamu... he sure is full of mischief.

Will posing with a dolphin. They are about the same age, but I think the dolphin responds better to both hand signals and verbal commands.
They gray in my hair is just an optical illusion created by the overcast sky.
Just plain tuff.
Ahoy there maties, It's the H.M.S. Surprise from the movie "Master and Commander".

Here we are in a Russian submarine.
Julie said "Look Tough" Will is showing his muscles, I'm throwing "Blue Steel", and John has just escaped from a mental institution. I guess look tough means different things to different people. Side Note. I apologize for the hat. I know it;s rude to wear it inside.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. A wedding. Here is Blair and Deb Carlson.

Fun ends with the carrier U.S.S. Midway. Now a museum we spent a few hours learning about life at sea and the cool airplanes used to defend our country.

High lights of a low life

2009-01-27T11:39:00.000-08:00

People ask me what I do for a living. I tell them that my father and I run a custom metal fabrication business together. When the blank looks on their faces don't disappear I ask them if they have seen "American Chopper". This is the show about the family that fabricate custom motorcycles. Usually in every episode the father and son end up in a shouting match and something gets broken. Well, that is me and my dad, but we make much less interesting stuff. Here are a few of the more interesting projects we have produced over the years together.

The Heard museum added a new 12000 sq. ft. wing to the museum and we made all the display stands inside the cases.

This is a weapons systems test fixture for the Apache helicopter.

Here we are welding a stress crack at the inlet of a A-4 skyhawk. This plane was purchased from the Israeli Air Force and the repair manuals were in Hebrew. fun.

A local artist was commissioned to build a sculpture by a medical supply company. He would place each piece and we would weld it in place.

Fully armored F-350 w/ Gatling gun we installed.
We also have welding certifications that allow us to weld on aircraft parts. This is an aft section from a large passenger jet.

We also make exhausts for King Air Aircraft.

Lastly a little personal boasting. This is a piece .010" ( about twice the thickness of a human hair) I welded.

Remember we have been in business for over 20 years. I won't post pictures of the real boring crap.

We need to laugh!

2009-01-12T08:29:00.000-08:00

I know I could use a laugh, so maybe so do you. Here are a few funny pics I have saved off the interweb.

Oh, Debra. I hope you used a fake name.

This reminds me of the time I taught primary.

This just goes to prove that shooting sports and full length camel hair coats don't mix.

The terrorists just pissed their pants, but out of laughter.

Some things could really drive a guy to drink.

Christmas Past

2009-01-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

Christmas may be over, but I'm trying to hang on to a little Christmas spirit before we have to box up all of the decorations this weekend. Here are a handful of pics from a not-so-distant Christmas past...

So, here is a slice of Christmas 2004. Some of the fun pics, and one that is tender to my heart. My very last picture of Grandpa. Missing him and missing all of you so much!

Love....
Julie

Christmas has come and gone.

2008-12-29T06:40:00.000-08:00

My brother Doug and his wife Yumi came to town for Christmas, so we all got together for an impromptu party on Christmas eve at my parents house. It's not that often that we get to be together as a family. We had a great time.

Dad read Luke II from the old family bible.

Yumi and Doug brought their dogs, Alex and Conan. I'm sure to Asher Alex looks like a full sized Doberman.

Christmas Day
Julie says this is a good picture of me. So the next time we go out I'll just remember: Half dressed, messy hair, sleepy with eye buggers is a good look for me.

Friendly cooperation before the all out war of "Dart Blaster" supremacy.

Whether it makes you sad or relieved Christmas has come and gone. The anticipation, the magic, the bills and, headaches. Christmas has come and gone. Now we are left with the paper and boxes. I guess that's not all that is left. We have lots of pictures, and we are grateful that we have a large family to share them with. For the last time this year, Merry Christmas everyone.

Santa

2008-12-22T07:00:00.001-08:00

Julie took John and Will to get their pictures taken with Santa. I guess he is the biggest toddler rock star their is, cause they would wait in line for hours just to take a picture with him.

I don't know if I like this picture or not. The boys are clearly head and shoulders taller this year compared to last year. You know what? I heard that because of Osteoporosis older people begin to lose bone density there by become shorter. Santa must me pushin' 2000 years old. All the cookies and milk in the world couldn't give him enough calcium to keep him from shrinking away. Wow, that makes me feel a lot better knowing that Santa is shrinking and that the boys are not getting bigger.

A Condie family Christmas

2008-12-22T06:28:00.000-08:00

We had the Condie family Christmas party at our house this year. I must admit I felt a little like Clarke Grizwald hosting the party this year. Accept my family lacks crazy senility, mostly likes each other and has learned to at least be civil if all else fails.

The day started with watching ASU beat BYU in basketball 76-75. I went to ASU.

Katie, Ryan; Brian, Brett; Sue, Charlie; and Dad.

Sue and Charlies youngest, Asher, is the most adorable little boy. I still can't figure out why they gave him bricks for Christmas.
Brian and Brett's youngest is Breanna. She is so sweet and cute, yet she bangs with the rest of the kids.

The day ended the way it started. We watched UofA beat BYU in the Pioneer Bowl 31-21. Brian went to UofA.

Merry Christmas to all.

2008-12-10T09:34:00.000-08:00

Like everyone else we have been enveloped by the Holidays. We put up our tree last week, every once in a while another piece of decoration finds it's appropriate corner to sit in. By the time we are finished it will be time to take it all down again.

One other thing. The first post election gun show was this weekend. Talk about some nut jobs. All I wanted to do was buy a few thousand rounds of ammunition and maybe an assault rifle or two and go home to my family. Sometimes I think they take this stuff way too seriously.

I can't show any more than this or "they" will revoke my membership to the Tin Foil Hat Club.
Have merry self regulated Christmas.

Lucky number 14

2008-11-24T06:14:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday was our 14th anniversary. I asked Julie if it was starting to feel like eternity yet. She told me "no", so I thought I should at least negotiate another 14 years. We filled the boys backpacks with a change of clothes an a couple matchbox cars and kicked them out of the car as we passed in front of my parents house (Hey, we slowed down first. Don't judge us.). We stayed at a completely out of our league Scottsdale resort for the weekend.

Here is our room. It was very romantic. One of the first things we noticed was a single apple left on the counter. Julie thought it was nice of them to leave us something to snack on. I figured it had a much more symbolic meaning to it like celebrating the agricultural heritage of the City of Scottsdale.
This is the Red Bar. We didn't go there, because we don't partake in that sin.

They wouldn't let us into the pool. They said something out age restrictions. You have to be older than 18 and younger than 24.

If you are within the age limits and have figured out how to crack open the trust grandpa left for you, you can rent a cabana by the pool like this.

We would like to thank my parents for watching the boys, so we could get away for a nice romantic anniversary weekend. We would also like to thank the Mondrian Hotel, and a special thanks to Expedia.com for giving us a price less pretentious than the Hotel itself.

Well, you know....we're five.

2008-11-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

No pictures, but I have to relay something from yesterday.

The boys were playing outside and John came running in announcing a magnificent discovery that the neighbors two houses down had a bouncy house in their back yard. I asked him how he saw it. "Well, William and I climbed the block wall." "The seven foot tall wall?" I asked? "How did you climb the wall?" With a very casual and matter-of-fact tone he replied. "Well, you know....we're five."

They were almost Frank and Stein.

2008-11-03T06:49:00.000-08:00

John and Will missed being born an Halloween by 5 hours. So now Birthday parties and Halloween seem to just roll into one fun weekend.

The boys have always been the same thing for Halloween. We have 2 lion costumes, 2 Buzz lightyear costumes, and 2 Spider man costumes. We were so happy when this year they decided do to pick separate costumes. Will wanted to be Darth Vader, and John picked Anakin Skywalker. I guess they still are the same person, just at different times.
They wanted to help make the birthday cake. Julie watched them close. They didn't add any "special" ingredients.

The Merrell grands came for the birthday.

Yeah, more toys.

Tractor Show

2008-10-27T07:16:00.000-07:00

As some of you know My dad and I are both members of an antique tractor club. Actually right now I am serving on the board of directors as the Public relations director.

We had a show this weekend. I had the boys for most of the day to give Julie a little alone time.
The first thing John did when he got to the show was find this survey flag on the ground. He picked it up and declared it his "tractor flag". Since we have all orange tractors I cold not bring my self to take it from him.

There was a booth selling "shaved Ice". I wanted to get all snooty and tell them "look pal, I've been to Hawaii and it's called 'shave Ice'. Your in the business, you should know better." But then I thought better of my kids eating spit. That, and I'm really not very confrontational.

John and Will. I think those are like 5 year old gang signs.

Brinley and Brianna climbing on grandpas crawler. If you are saying to your self "wow, that is a pretty tractor." You must know I painted it, applied the decals and shook my head disapprovingly every time My dad wanted to cut corners in it's restoration.

By the way. I know this is an annoying song and it will not be here for very long.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

2008-10-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

In June Jana Chad and Owen came to visit on there way to Cali. We got to spend a few days with them and even took in a D-back game.I love my picture taken. Is that what this look says? I think John finished that whole drink himself. I swear, the boy has the bladder of a Clydesdale.

The boys were so exited to be able to play with cousin Owen. However, we now know that the time limit before Will and Owen start to impose dominance on each other is about 26 hours.

If some is good, more is better.

2008-10-20T08:55:00.000-07:00

I got a request for another picture.

J and D Merrell.

I could not resist putting this one on here. It is my favorite.

What's next?

2008-10-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes.....what comes next? Yeah it took us awhile to get with the program. After nearly ten years of trying we were blessed with twin boys. John and will.

We were only a small part of the Merrell baby Storm. Within a few years 5 grand babies took over.

The beginning

2008-10-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

I'll start at the beginning. For me, that is the year Julie and I met. We were both going to Rick's college in Rexburg, Id. One of my roommates was stalking...er I mean infatuated with one of Julies roommates. He would drag me over to their apartment complex at least once a day. Let me back up a little.

When I applied to Rick's College I heard that the boy to girl ratio was 1/12. In my crude understanding I thought " Great, 12 ducks for every hunter". I was wrong. It was 12 hunters for every duck. After a few encounters with...shall we say "aggressive women" I decided love was not for me, and to forgo this part of the college experience until after I served a mission.

So here I am being drug around as a stalkers wing man and hang out all day in an all girls apartment. Okay, so I guess it wasn't all bad. So Julie and I started to spend a lot of time together. After a while Julie asked me to a preference dance. The dance was not for a few weeks but I thought maybe I should get to know her a little better. After all, we will have to slow dance together. We went on a couple double dates with stalker and Martha. We saw Dances with wolves and had some Ice cream. Any ways a few days before I thought that maybe I should hold her hand at the dance. That was it just "hold her hand".

All I have to say now is we have not let go. I went on a mission to Mississippi. She waited for me and we got married 2 months after I got home.
November 19, 1994 we were married in the Seattle, Washington Temple.

Introduction

2008-10-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

Well, with the inspiration of Karen Hyde I decided to start our own blog. I'll start off first with a couple pictures to prove that I was young and thin once. From now on, you will mostly see my family. It's better for both of us this way. A better ,more formal introduction of me and my beautiful family will come soon.